Top 10 Reasons Why I am Fabulous

If you think you can be me, see how many of the following rules you meet. I was born with these talents, so it just comes naturally.

Clothes

Every outfit you buy can be worn only once unless extremely cute and then can only be worn in 6 month cycles.

Purses

Purses must cost more than a plasma TV, have a foreign name and large enough to fit your cat.

Shoes

Must have two of every color and boost your height a minimum of 6” to reach the ever impressive height of 5’6

Jewelry

Collection of jewelry needs to be large and gaudy and be the size of your first regardless of item.

Sunglasses

Big oversize sunglasses are a necessity to compensate for a tiny head.

Car

Zippy car or SUV is a must when outrunning cops after flipping them off.

Pets

Must have whiny cat to love and adore and needs to be nicknamed “Princess” whether male or female

Travel

Passport is required to be stamped by half the world at a moments notice

Stalking

Must be able to stalk random boys while being as stealthy as an elephant tiptoeing through a china store.

Languages

Must be able to barter and insult the locals in at least 5 different languages.